[INTRO MUSIC blares. Graphics flash: "BREAKING NEWS: EXAMPLE ROCKS THE NATION!"] ANCHOR (big smile, way too much energy): Good evening, I’m Chip McQuippy, and this is FakeNews Tonight: where our stories are real…ish, and our facts come in fun size! Now, to our top story! In a shocking turn of events, “EXAMPLE” has swept the globe, leaving millions asking: “What does it mean? Why is it here? Did I remember to feed my cat?” Our reporters are on the scene, somewhere between confusion and enlightenment. We go live now to our field correspondent, Sandy Statement. Sandy? [CUT TO SANDY surrounded by befuddled townsfolk] Thanks, Chip! I’m standing in the heart of Exampleville, where Example-mania has struck like a mild case of hiccups. People are reacting in every way imaginable: some are celebrating, others are quietly Googling “what is Example?” Local authorities have issued a statement: “Please remain calm, and remember, don’t try to use Example in a sentence unless you’re absolutely sure you know what it means.” Back to you, Chip. [CHIP nods sagely] Thank you, Sandy. Wise advice! Reports confirm that Example has reached record levels of ambiguity, and experts warn it could be contagious. Symptoms include mild confusion, an urge to italicize, and—oh—let’s not forget, excessive use of placeholder text. In related news, Synonym stocks are at an all-time high, while Literal Interpretation plummets to historic lows. And finally, a reminder from the CDC: If you encounter an Example in the wild, do not approach. Instead, use it to illustrate your point, and move on. That’s it for now! Stay tuned for Sports: “Metaphor Wins Gold in the Summer Similes.” I’m Chip McQuippy, and remember—if you’re looking for clarity, you’re probably in the wrong place! [OUTRO MUSIC swells, graphics spin wildly.]